Psalm 51 Prayer

Note: I wrote this prayer for evening worship at the Academy for Spiritual Formation through The Upper Room.
Psalm Prayer: Psalm 51 (theme, confession)

O God- my God,

I confess that there are some things I cannot do.
I confess that I make mistakes- daily. Sometimes I’ve made a dozen before breakfast.
I confess that I don’t always know what you want from me,
or what my community wants, or my family wants, or my church wants.
I confess that the one thing you desire from me is often the hardest thing to give.
If you wanted the first fruits of the harvest I would plant you garden.
If you wanted a fatted calf burned upon an altar I would build a barn, and buy muck boots, and learn how to care for and then kill a cow.
If you wanted my money I would gladly write a check.
But none of this would please you, God, and I confess
that sometimes it seems impossible to give you
the one thing you want:
my heart.
Help me to give it to you gladly.
Even when it is crushed from the cruelty of the world.
Even when it is bruised, but still beating.
I wish I could scrub it clean myself, but I can’t.
Only you, my God, can make it whole.
Please tend, mend, and cleanse my heart,
and then give me the courage to offer it to you
again
and again
and again.
Amen.

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